Space. Time. Intensity. Angle. Audience. Relationship.
Authentic versus theatricality- dual binaries, due to my piece being quite factual as well as having my own confessional moments such as revealing I once stopped injecting myself, I want the lights to start off theatrical, the multi-coloured lighting shows that my life is like a cabaret, a big performance, a games-show…then the lights become more atmospheric. Colours represent the change in my levels.
The stage could become a virtual Pancreas, lit in different sections/ colours to show how my body works.
Yellow- the colour my skin went when I was first diagnosed.
“I remember becoming thinner, my skin became yellow and it was a struggle to do the most basic things…
I couldn’t even walk to primary school which was 5 minutes down the road, I used to sit in the middle of the pavement and refuse to move. Mum just thought I was lazy.
I was thirsty, my tongue was sticky, it crackled, I was physically drained. I had to sit out of playing rounder’s on a rainbows trip to Lowestoft, I kept drinking and drinking, not knowing that drinking non-diet coke and sugary squash was destroying my body even more.”
Red- high level. Facts of symptoms and how it is caused followed by a confessional voice over about what happens when you don’t inject. The dangers.
Hyperglycemia happens when the level of glucose in the blood is too high. Extreme cases, you may vomit. I become thirsty, wee a lot and also become very tired.
3rd November 2002- my sugar levels were so high I developed ketoacidosis. I was throwing up, I shrank down one side of my body, I was dehydrated, and delirious. I couldn’t breathe properly. I just had had enough. A year of turning myself into A HUMAN PIN CUSHION, I used to hide behind the stairway door and pretend to inject. I thought no one would notice. They didn’t. I almost accidently killed myself. My body had no insulin in it to break down all of the glucose taking over my body. I was put on a drip. So now I don’t care if people in the public think im taking “drugs” im probably the only person who takes drugs to avoid getting high. I have to inject.
Green- perfect level- a description of how to get the perfect level whilst I point at the screen showing a blood test machine.
When I eat carbohydrates my body then needs insulin to break down the glucose in me.
(pointing to screen) I prick my finger, insert my blood onto a test strip and this machine tells me my level. I insert how many carbs im eating and then it works out how many units of insulin I should inject myself from ratios already set up on the machine (which is all estimated)
Blue wash- low level- the unconscious like state of mind, the body becoming numb, losing control
In January this year I worked out I had around over 40 low blood sugar levels. i went hypo every day. I woke up hypo every day. I was scared to sleep in case I didn’t wake up. I’m good at sleeping…
Then comes the voice in my head telling me to not eat more sugar than I need to but when my levels go low I get sweet cravings. I shake. I slur my words. I feel faint. My legs are like jelly. I cant coordinate. I cant communicate. I act drunk. Something takes over my body.
I experimented with these colours I knew I definitely wanted and looked at what two colours fading into the other looked like along with all three. All three of them looked a bit like a Rocket lollipop so I decided against using all three colours blended at once. 
The lights would need to be separated or have more of a slow fade to represent my atmospheres’. I decided that I liked the strobing effect but I felt that it would be too dramatic for my piece as althought the lighting does have meaning, i don’t want to detract too much away from my text as well. So I then went with more of a pulsing effect, as my body goes in and out of conscious states when hypo so a blue pulsing light, lighting up different sections of the stage around me I thought would 
represent this best.
Memory is coloured… when the performer leaves the light they leave the memory behind. Entering into a new memory. The timing of fades creates meaning too.
A slow fade represents something more poignant whereas a snap is more dramatic. I want the lights to snap onto me at the microphone with a bright spot light to represent the different points of views, my personal experiences and the facts which are authentic compared to the fading slower lights when the question slides and voice overs are heard as they are the publics views and may not be true, different states of light, different ideas.
I also had to be careful to not go too intense with the colours as I don’t want my face to look like a tomato, therefore because I do want quite an intense red, fill a part of the stage with the light rather than myself. As I am speaking the script and facts of my sugar levels going high, the subtle change in the stage from a green to a red will represent what I am saying.
